i'll tell you what went wrong

the feeling i felt yesterday is already gone (thankfully!). but.. i still need time. i know it's not the same as before (& it sucks).

you wanna know a secret?
i can't move on from you. i just can't. it's hard. it's not like i still feel the same. it's awkward, confussing, and i don't like it.
i wanna talk, & i dont. what if you're with her?
& she didn't answer my last msg. something tells me.. she knows i know. or.. that's why she hasn't be on for a long, long time.
& the fact that i just saw you were listening to music doesn't help at all!

i just want this to end.

i wish i didn't have this necessity to talk to you.

because, seriously, it just makes me sick.
it brings me back to that night & the days after that. all that horrible feeling that made me feel nauseaus
& i can't help it. i saw your last.fm profile, i was curious & visit your site. reading that.. it's like nothing changed from some time ago (like a year. oh boy!).

edit: and you can bet i'll talk to you when i find some courage to do it.

ps: you erased me from your life. don't think of you as such an important person. you should know i can make you disappear in just a matter of secs. it was nice to know ya H, despite all.