martes, 15 de febrero de 2011

I can't give you a reason that won't sound like an excuse.

(nota: Mirá, esto probablemente esté re mal escrito. pero hace semanas que lo postergo, y ya está. ahí está. Goodbye).

Me encantan esos momentos en que cada situación que ves destinada al blog, logran encontrar un título en alguna canción, película o quote de alguna serie. Este es el caso. One Tree Hill. Mouth asking for Millie to forgive him.
Así me sentí desde diciembre. Con varias personas. O dos. Así me seguí sintiendo en enero. Especialmente cuando me di cuenta que me había borrado del Facebook. You'll see, I know that what I said it's pretty effin lame, I know it. But it's the truth. And since FB, was the only way we could possibly talk, well, looks like the only way to communicate has been cut. aka, she doesn't wanna know about me. Or... she's waiting for me to come back, and ask for forgiveness.
I've been thinking about it, since the day I'd noticed it. Every single day (except for that weekend at the beach, but it was a matter of hours), thinking about what should I do. I knew I should have come back. In person. I thought about going to where she works and talk. But that didn't work out well the last person I tried (with a different person, 'course). I've been postponing the deal. Til I talked with my bro, who made me remember where I've heard that kind of a motto that was sticked to my head. I didn't even remembered the words at the moment. But I knew something wasn't letting me go and say I was sorry.
That night I figured out. It was One Tree Hill (thank you FOX for letting me watch it in December♥). It was Mouth.
Nothing I could say to her, would make things better. Specially cause I knew I am not going to change. I can't change my mind. Sometimes I do that, and I can't help it. Not that I hadn't tried, ok? So, I was trying to find out a way to go back, and realized I couldn't. I would say how sorry I was, that my mind is messed up & sometimes I need space (it's true but I had way too many space away from here for a couple of months already, I just thought things had changed enough to become best friends again), and say what a horrible person I am. And I'm aware of that.
But it wasn't fair for her. I don't think I could keep doing that. I knew that situation would have repeated in the future, and I would have to ask her to forgive me, and she would, cause she's just too kind. It wasn't fair.
So, a couple of weeks ago, I decided to leave things how they are right now. And move on. Cause I know she must have moved on too.
And that's how a friendship ends.



Mi foto
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Figured on, not figuring myself out.